Learning To Confront (1)

Feb 12, 2023

‘If you accept correction, you will be honoured.’Proverbs 13:18 NLT

We don’t enjoy confrontation, but it’s impossible to grow without it. Healthy confrontation calls for ‘speaking the truth in love’ (Ephesians 4:15 NIV) to those we value. Just as God confronts each of us in areas where we need to grow, He expects us to do the same for others. Is it easy? No. But here are some guiding principles to help you:

(1) Talk to the person, not about them. Healthy confrontation should be direct and, when possible, done in private. It calls for thoughtful communication, delivered firmly but graciously. When people are hurting, handle them with care.

(2) Don’t exaggerate or use spiritual hype. Give specific examples. Don’t hide behind words like ‘I believe the Lord has shown me that you’re wrong.’ When Nathan the prophet confronted King David about his sin with Bathsheba, he was specific. And keep your emotions in check; allow enough time between the offence and the confrontation for a prayerful defusing of any anger you feel.

(3) Don’t guilt–trip them; help them. Don’t leave somebody in a mess, without clear direction on how to improve. That’s not fair, and it’s not constructive. Actually, it can lead to more intense issues and unwanted complications. The best approach is to calmly identify the problem and suggest ways it can be resolved. Your goal isn’t to expose somebody but to show them a better way.

(4) Don’t be critical; be compassionate. If you miss everything else, don’t miss this! If you do, you will find yourself condemning rather than confronting. If you’re honest, you will admit that your own road to success has had some potholes—so approach others with humility, love and concern.

Matthew 5:1–12 ()

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5:1 Seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him.

And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

“Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

10 “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Joshua 10:5–14 ()

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Then the five kings of the Amorites, the king of Jerusalem, the king of Hebron, the king of Jarmuth, the king of Lachish, and the king of Eglon, gathered their forces and went up with all their armies and encamped against Gibeon and made war against it.

And the men of Gibeon sent to Joshua at the camp in Gilgal, saying, “Do not relax your hand from your servants. Come up to us quickly and save us and help us, for all the kings of the Amorites who dwell in the hill country are gathered against us.” So Joshua went up from Gilgal, he and all the people of war with him, and all the mighty men of valor. And the LORD said to Joshua, “Do not fear them, for I have given them into your hands. Not a man of them shall stand before you.” So Joshua came upon them suddenly, having marched up all night from Gilgal. 10 And the LORD threw them into a panic before Israel, who struck them with a great blow at Gibeon and chased them by the way of the ascent of Beth-horon and struck them as far as Azekah and Makkedah. 11 And as they fled before Israel, while they were going down the ascent of Beth-horon, the LORD threw down large stones from heaven on them as far as Azekah, and they died. There were more who died because of the hailstones than the sons of Israel killed with the sword.

12 At that time Joshua spoke to the LORD in the day when the LORD gave the Amorites over to the sons of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel,

  “Sun, stand still at Gibeon,
    and moon, in the Valley of Aijalon.”
13   And the sun stood still, and the moon stopped,
    until the nation took vengeance on their enemies.

Is this not written in the Book of Jashar? The sun stopped in the midst of heaven and did not hurry to set for about a whole day. 14 There has been no day like it before or since, when the LORD heeded the voice of a man, for the LORD fought for Israel.

The Word for Today is authored by Bob and Debby Gass and published under licence from UCB International Copyright © 2023

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